“I think a lot of it is rooted in the absence of rituals to practice grief, and to me decolonization is a death ritual. That’s what we’re talking about. We’re talking about letting go and releasing from what we thought, either for some people is what we thought we wanted and then for others what was imposed upon us and told made us citizens or worthy beings or valued beings, or declared that we were in fact alive. And I think we’re at a time in this concept of The Great Turning, that it will require pain, it will require grieving. It will invoke sadness. Because everything we thought was true, everything we were striving for is no longer, or now we know the impacts of what that old dream will impose upon the earth and other living beings. I think the growing pains of decolonization are valid. I think to be better organizers will require patience, and I think the problem is that the work is so urgent. So how do we metabolize that grieving process? What do we need to do to instigate that grieving process so that we can show up to the earth and to one another, urgently, and slowly, and how to find that quantum space to be here. And I think a lot of it can come through being transparent about the pain that we are in. And being witness in the grief that it is to shift.” – brontë velez in interivew with For the Wild
I wasn’t originally going to post this in my series on grief, but it is so applicable to this moment in time and so important. brontë velez speaks passionately about what it means to let go and grieve harmful living practices. They ask us to open ourselves up to grief, to recognize the need to create rituals that allow us to move into new spaces, and to welcome everybody into these spaces. Their interview titled ‘Embodying the Revolution’ with For the Wild speaks to many topics, one being the practices of grief competition, a.k.a., how even grief has become competitive in our society ruled by white supremacy. They ask us to consider how we can create grief practices that are inclusive and humble instead of divisive. They ask us to consider where and when your need for healing can be tended to:
“To me this work around grief competition can be grounded when we practice humility. This is a big thing I’ve seen a lot of spaces where people aren’t willing to be humble, aren’t willing to listen, aren’t willing to say, ‘Hey what are the other spaces where I can get the tending that I need to, and in this space maybe it’s not my voice that needs to be heard right now.’ And how to be in that wisdom and discernment.”
How can we move forward in our world? How can we enact a death ritual that lets us move away from oppressive institutions? How can we be okay with the unknown? How can we dismantle old structures and reimagine new futures?
“This is why I’m really interested in decomposition as rebellion, as was mentioned. Because decomposition as rebellion is saying, ‘I don’t know what is coming, I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t know what is next. All I know is that I need to die. All I know is that these things need to be laid to rest, that part I’m sure of.’ And how to just be committed to that is a powerful practice.”
Our world is changing, moving into a new phase (see this article by Nefeez Ahmed which talks about a global phase shift), and we must learn how to leave our old cultural practices behind. To me, as a white woman of privilege, grief in this form is acknowledgment, grief allows me to accept the fact that the white supremacist culture I was raised in is destructive and needs to end. I am grieving my late arrival in this space, but my grief opens me up to new possibilities and new understandings as I start shedding the skin of my old culture.
I highly recommend listening to all of brontë velez’s interview, because much more than just grief is covered. They are one of the many black leaders that are working on bringing our world into a better future.
Follow brontë velez on instagram at @littlenows, follow/donate to her organization Lead to Life.
The Edited Jottings of an Amateur Anthropologist 